Jackass: Best and Last Cannot Both Be First in Line

Jackass: Best and Last is about a line that nobody labeled correctly.

That is my first note and also my seventh note, because I wrote it down again after a loud part scared my popcorn.

Paramount says Johnny Knoxville and the gang return for one final fling at the big screen. It also says all-new stunts and stupidity, greatest hits, biggest laughs from the past, and the last time you will ever laugh this hard in a theatre. This is too many categories for men who are already falling down.

Best and last are not the same location. Best goes in the front because it won. Last goes in the back because it was late or tired or had a small hat on. If the best one is also the last one, then what are the middle ones doing. Loitering. That is how stunts get cocky.

I know Jackass is supposed to be men doing bad ideas with friendship around it. I understand the brand as much as Chud understands anything. A man sees a ramp. Another man says no. The first man hears yes in a different font. Then America claps in pain.

But this new one has a title problem. Best and Last sounds like a retirement home for stunts where the old ones sit on benches and remember when a shopping cart meant something.

The movie includes all-new stunts, according to the official people, plus greatest hits from the past. Fine, but new and past should not share a bunk bed. New stunts need to smell like fresh mistake. Past stunts need a blanket and maybe a plaque nobody reads. You mix them and suddenly a man is getting hit in the nostalgia.

I kept trying to find the best stunt. Maybe it was the one where somebody flew. Maybe it was the one where a body learned regret. Maybe it was a small stunt that did not show off because it had dignity. Hard to tell, because the last stunt kept standing in front of it.

There is also a phrase, one final fling. Chud does not trust fling as a noun. Fling is an action you do with keys or a burrito wrapper. When grown men say final fling, somebody should check the ceiling.

Still, there is warmth here. They are idiots, but together. That matters. A single idiot is a spill. A group of idiots is a reunion with medical tape. You can feel the history, mostly in the knees.

My solution is simple. Make four bins. Best. Last. New. Past. Put each stunt in the right bin before filming. If a stunt refuses, it is probably the best one and should be moved to the front with tongs.

Jackass: Best and Last made Chud laugh, but mostly because I was worried a chair was about to get promoted to weapon. That is not criticism. That is a safety concern.

Chud's rating: funny, painful, badly sorted.